We ALL use it EVERYDAY. You would think that everyone would begin to follow some "best practices" when it comes to interacting with strangers, acquaintances, friends, and family in the "cyber world". But after spending a few months at a major news outlet in Australia working as a "Social Media Manager", I have learned some important lessons about my fellow... Man... if I dare even group myself into the same genetic category as some of these people.
Here are the first five lessons I have learned while interacting with strangers on the Internet. Enjoy!
Lesson 1: People are dumb- I mean really dumb. I picture some of the users eating paste while pondering if the "W" key and the "M" key are mistakes, or are there on purpose. Yet despite their continually plummeting IQ score, they still manage to slam their cheeto dust covered sausage fingers into the keyboard long enough to compose a string of words that resembles a sentence. Which I then have to decipher, only to realize that they are high on the glue they have been suckling on all day.
Lesson 2: People are lazy- Much of my "job" is posting an eye catching headline to draw you to click on the link at the end of the headline. I am blown away how many people will take the time to post or reply and ask what the actual story was about because they didn't want to read the story. Listen sweetheart, I am not your nanny, I don't read you a bed time story, fold your clothes, or summarize your news stories. Put on your big boy/girl pants and inform yourself.
Lesson 3: People think they are The Most important person to follow any account- I can not tell you how many messages I have received saying "Hey (Account), There's something about this picture/post/comment that bothers me, can you remove it". Oh, I'm sorry! The picture of a small child in a pool with an attached story about children's swim lessons bothered you! Since you don't like happy children frolicking or the important mission of teaching children to swim, I will take it down this instant. You are our most important follower and we would not dare lose you over a happy heartwarming picture.
Lesson 4: No one reads previous comments- So this is a bit of a reach, as common sense would dictate that those who read previous comments don't post redundant comments. But I am still amazed at how many IDENTICAL comments I see on stories. One after another after another. It is as if no one has any idea how a conversation works. Person A speaks, Person B listens and reacts to Person A. It is like everyone is playing that obnoxious repeating game that we used to play as kids. "Hey", "Hey", "What are you doing?", "What are you doing?", "Are you repeating everything I say?", "Are you repeating everything I say?"... Cool story dude, you are wasting everyone's time and you are about as funny as a small child in a wheelchair struggling to wheel up an inclined ramp.
Lesson 5: The Like, Share, and Comment Buttons scare the hell out of most people- Well except for the older generations. Parents and Grandparents have an obsession with clicking... ALL of these buttons. They see a post about cupcakes... SHARE WITH EVERYONE! Picture of child/grandchild partaking in something that their generation didn't believe in... PUBLICLY SHAME! News story about cell phones... I DON'T UNDERSTAND! It is as if the buttons are small children's chubby virgin cheeks that are crying out to be pinched. With that being said, Grandma, I love all of your posts and emails, keep up the good work. I am simply referring to grandparents of other people.
Part 2 will be coming out shortly. Leave a comment and let me know what lessons you have learned while interacting with strangers on the Internet.
Here are the first five lessons I have learned while interacting with strangers on the Internet. Enjoy!
Lesson 1: People are dumb- I mean really dumb. I picture some of the users eating paste while pondering if the "W" key and the "M" key are mistakes, or are there on purpose. Yet despite their continually plummeting IQ score, they still manage to slam their cheeto dust covered sausage fingers into the keyboard long enough to compose a string of words that resembles a sentence. Which I then have to decipher, only to realize that they are high on the glue they have been suckling on all day.
Lesson 2: People are lazy- Much of my "job" is posting an eye catching headline to draw you to click on the link at the end of the headline. I am blown away how many people will take the time to post or reply and ask what the actual story was about because they didn't want to read the story. Listen sweetheart, I am not your nanny, I don't read you a bed time story, fold your clothes, or summarize your news stories. Put on your big boy/girl pants and inform yourself.
Lesson 3: People think they are The Most important person to follow any account- I can not tell you how many messages I have received saying "Hey (Account), There's something about this picture/post/comment that bothers me, can you remove it". Oh, I'm sorry! The picture of a small child in a pool with an attached story about children's swim lessons bothered you! Since you don't like happy children frolicking or the important mission of teaching children to swim, I will take it down this instant. You are our most important follower and we would not dare lose you over a happy heartwarming picture.
Lesson 4: No one reads previous comments- So this is a bit of a reach, as common sense would dictate that those who read previous comments don't post redundant comments. But I am still amazed at how many IDENTICAL comments I see on stories. One after another after another. It is as if no one has any idea how a conversation works. Person A speaks, Person B listens and reacts to Person A. It is like everyone is playing that obnoxious repeating game that we used to play as kids. "Hey", "Hey", "What are you doing?", "What are you doing?", "Are you repeating everything I say?", "Are you repeating everything I say?"... Cool story dude, you are wasting everyone's time and you are about as funny as a small child in a wheelchair struggling to wheel up an inclined ramp.
Lesson 5: The Like, Share, and Comment Buttons scare the hell out of most people- Well except for the older generations. Parents and Grandparents have an obsession with clicking... ALL of these buttons. They see a post about cupcakes... SHARE WITH EVERYONE! Picture of child/grandchild partaking in something that their generation didn't believe in... PUBLICLY SHAME! News story about cell phones... I DON'T UNDERSTAND! It is as if the buttons are small children's chubby virgin cheeks that are crying out to be pinched. With that being said, Grandma, I love all of your posts and emails, keep up the good work. I am simply referring to grandparents of other people.
Part 2 will be coming out shortly. Leave a comment and let me know what lessons you have learned while interacting with strangers on the Internet.
Love you Christopher..... tell me how you really feel!!! ;-) See you in March!
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